Olee and Sheena vs. The Undertaker: RED FALCON DAWN Issue#1

By Desiree Sims

Global Flavor (applies across all pages)

Use these subtle recurring motifs to make readers feel like the town is alive and watching:

Recurring Symbol: a faint red falcon-feather shape appears in smoke, dust, lantern flame, or shadow — never acknowledged.
The Town as Character: wood creaks like speech, lantern light leans toward danger, and signs flicker like guilty memories.
Boundary Texture: whenever the boundary is near, add: air looks “grainy,” like old film; sound gets slightly muffled; dust moves against the wind.
Undertaker Presence: even when he’s not speaking, add: tiny funeral details (a thread of black cloth in a nail, a horsefly that hums like a hymn, a pocket-watch tick that doesn’t match time).
Panel Transitions: occasionally end a page with a thin horizontal “breath” panel (wind, ash, lantern flame, bell rope moving by itself). This gives cinematic pacing without changing page count—just make it part of a panel’s background beat.

PAGE-BY-PAGE ENHANCEMENTS (keeping your script intact)

PAGE 1 — OPENING SPLASH (1 panel)

Add-on Visual Magic:

The sunset isn’t just red — it’s layered: bruised crimson at the horizon, a faint black-green band above it like old poison.
The warped boardwalk planks form a barely noticeable spiral pointing toward the town center (subconscious unease).
Lanterns: each flame has a slight double-image, like it’s burning in two worlds at once.
The church bell rope hangs through an open belfry window… and moves gently though no wind blows.
Olee’s shadow: add a second shadow, thinner, delayed by half a second—like the town is “rendering” him.

Micro-texture (no new dialogue):

Add small SFX in the environment (tiny, not loud):

SFX (small): KRRK… (wood)
SFX (small): TIK…TIK… (too faint to place)

PAGE 2 (5 panels)

Panel 1 upgrades:

Ghost bartender sweeping: the broom pushes dust that isn’t there, but the dust forms letters for a split second before scattering.
Preacher’s bell: show the bell swinging but also a shadow-hand on the rope that isn’t attached to anything.
Riderless horse: its shadow shows two riders for one panel only.

Panel 2 rooftop:

Olee’s “measuring” is visual: his gaze aligns with tiny boundary markers carved into rooftops like quiet warding glyphs.

Panel 3 boots:

The TIK—TIK— can be echoed by a second, softer rhythm:
- SFX (small): tik…tik… (a heartbeat that isn’t his)

Panel 5 hands touch:

Tiny spark of red static between their fingers, like the air resists their unity for a microsecond.

PAGE 3 (6 panels)

Panel 1 saloon sign:

“LAST LIGHT” sign creaks in a way that makes the letters look like they’re about to rearrange.
Add: a single black paper scrap flutters past (foreshadowing paper-birds later).

Panel 5 boundary posts bleeding:

Make the “ink” behave wrong: it drips downward, then crawls back up one post like it’s reconsidering gravity.

Panel 6 touch:

When it moves against his fingertip, add a tiny visual: a thumbprint-shaped ripple that looks like a mouth closing.

PAGE 4 (5 panels)

Panel 1 shimmer line:

The shimmer is not uniform—there are “teeth” shapes in it, like a zipper half-opened.
Add a faint overlay: old wanted poster text ghosting across the air.

Panel 2 Sheena listening:

Show her hearing visually: tiny sound rings or a slight distortion around her ear and hand, like sonar.

Panel 5 whistle:

Let the SFX have a visual trail: a pale ribbon in the air shaped like a noose for one beat.

PAGE 5 (6 panels)

Panel 1 town square:

Ash in the wind briefly forms the shape of a coffin lid before dispersing.
Lantern flames bend sideways: let one flame bend toward Sheena and Olee, as if asking protection.

Panel 2 Old Woman Spirit:

Bullet-rosary beads each have tiny engraved words: “BOUNDARY” “DEBT” “NAME” (foreshadow the contract theme).

Panel 6 carriage far down road:

The horse carved from night: make its hooves not touch the ground—just above it—leaving grave dirt anyway.

PAGE 6 — TRANSFORMATION TEASE (5 panels)

Panel 1 Olee orders:

As he speaks, show the town responding: shutters start closing in the background like the town obeys him.

Panel 4 pact marks:

Add “living ink” detail: the wrist brands shift slightly, like they’re trying to rewrite themselves.

Panel 5 red glint:

In his iris, add a micro reflection: the Undertaker’s pocket watch (even if it’s not in frame).

PAGE 7 (6 panels)

Panel 1 carriage approaches:

Background: the town leans away = show signs tilting, porch swings pulling back, a dog refusing to bark with ears pinned.

Panel 5 door handle opens:

When it opens, add: the air releases a cold breath fog that forms a brief skull profile.

Panel 6 Undertaker reveal:

Add one unsettling physical law: his feet cast no shadow… but his staff does.

PAGE 8 (5 panels)

Panel 1 fangs:

Add a thin, elegant vampire detail: her fangs appear like fine ivory blades, not monstrous—regal.

Panel 3 warping road:

The coffin-lid shapes slide like pages turning in a book (ties into “paperwork” theme later).

Panel 5 Undertaker smile:

His smile slightly misaligns from his face, like an old photo shifted wrong.

PAGE 9 (6 panels)

Pocket watch interior:

Inside the swirling desert: add tiny lantern lights moving like distant processions (seed the Page 24 reveal early).

Boundary splinter:

When posts splinter, show splinters forming symbols mid-air—then vanishing.

Shadow-wave:

Give it texture: it’s not just dirt—it’s funeral ash + shredded paper + grit, like someone shredded contracts into the wind.

PAGE 10 — ACTION BREAK (5 panels)

Coffin-shaped shadows:

Make each “door” open with a different sound texture:
- SFX: RKKK— (wood)
- SFX (small): FTHHH… (sand pouring)
- SFX (small): TIK— (watch tick, out of place)

Undertaker timing them:

In his hand (or near him), add a subtle floating grain of sand that rises instead of falls.

PAGE 11 (6 panels)

Bullets etched with red symbols:

When they hit, the symbol flashes like a stamp: APPROVED / DENIED vibes without words.

Pinned shadow-creature whisper:

Add word balloons that look like torn receipts or curling obituary paper.

Grave-circle blooms:

Let it form like an ink spill that becomes a perfect legal seal (ties to “paperwork” theme).

PAGE 12 — FALL INTO “THE GAP” (5 panels)

The Gap:

Treat it like a junk drawer of reality: include fragments of:
- torn maps of The Landing
- a church bell clapper floating like a bullet
- a “Closed” sign swinging in slow motion

Landing (CLOSED) sign:

Add bureaucratic cruelty: beneath “CLOSED,” tiny print like an official notice—illegible, but clearly “terms and conditions.”

PAGE 13 (6 panels)

Footprints appear and vanish:

Make them look like they’re being typed into existence—one after another, like punctuation.

Undertaker voice:

Put faint “panel-corner” intrusions: a sliver of black cloth or a watch edge creeping into the panel border.

Paper-birds:

Make them fold in impossible ways—origami made from eviction notices and death certificates.

PAGE 14 — OLEE’S TRUE FORM (5 panels)

Transformation:

Add auditory layering:
- SFX: FSSHHH—KLIK— (you have)
- Add tiny sub-SFX: FLIT FLIT FLIT (feathers like cards shuffling)

Falcon reveal:

Give the falcon a mythic beat: a single feather detaches and floats upward, against gravity, like the town salutes him.

PAGE 15 (6 panels)

Aerial view mirror-town:

Map made of ash: add faint “district lines” like zoning maps (paperwork theme again).
The “tear” looks like a stitched seam and when he hits it, the stitches flare red like sutures.

PAGE 16 (5 panels)

Sheena vampire speed:

To show speed without clutter: use a “staccato echo” effect—two afterimages of her blade, like frames overlapping.

Paper-bird line revealed:

Let the printed line feel official: bold typeface, like a stamped document.

PAGE 17 (6 panels)

Mirror-town cracks:

Cracks reveal not just light—brief glimpses of real town memories (a child laughing, a lantern festival, a wedding veil) — silent, haunting.

Tear opens:

The doorway edge looks like ripped paper, not a portal—reality as a document being torn.

PAGE 18 (5 panels)

Sheena “Married.”

Add a visual flex: her wedding band (if you want) glints faintly, or her grip tightens with calm certainty.
Falcon Olee returning like a comet: give a thin red trail that resembles a signature line on a contract.

PAGE 19 (6 panels)

Shift mid-motion:

Make the transformation feel like snapping a file closed:
- SFX (small): CHK-CHK (like a latch)
When Olee aims at the watch, show his aim line slicing through chaos like a ruler-straight boundary.

They fire together:

Give the moment a “perfect sync” visual: their actions mirror like a seal being pressed.

PAGE 20 (5 panels)

Time-sand spills:

Make it “scream” visually: tiny distorted faces in the sand for a microsecond.
Shadow-creatures collapse into dirt: leave behind paper scraps that flutter, then burn away.

PAGE 21 (6 panels)

Undertaker dissolves:

Smoke + funeral cloth: the cloth briefly forms a hooded crowd silhouette behind him—hint of “many Undertakers.”

Town sign flicker:

When it becomes unreadable/older, show a few letters clearly for a split moment—enough to tease, not confirm.

PAGE 22 (5 panels)

Townsfolk emerging:

Let the town feel diverse and magical with quick silhouettes:
- a woman with candlewax tears
- a man whose shadow arrives before he does
- a child holding a jar of fireflies that spell symbols briefly

Sign creaks like it wants to confess:

Add: a nail loosens by itself, like the sign is trying to fall and reveal what’s underneath.

PAGE 23 (6 panels)

Reveal letters:
You wrote: “THE LANDING OF SAINTS AND SINNERS (or any haunting phrase you like).”
Here are three options that keep your intent but land like a curse-contract:

THE LANDING OF SAINTS AND SINNERS (your original—strong, formal, Biblical weight)
THE LANDING, UNDER WITNESS AND DUST (legal phrasing + Western grit)
THE LANDING OF THE BOUND AND THE BURIED (ties to Undertaker + boundary pact)

Panel 6 black paper-bird:

Make it land softly on the sign… then unfold itself into a tiny paper subpoena shape (no readable text needed).

PAGE 24 — FINAL SPLASH / CLIFFHANGER (1 panel)

Beyond the boundary lanterns:

Make the procession look like “stars on the ground” — and each lantern flame has a different color temperature, implying different factions / different Undertakers.

Falcon silhouette seal across the moon:

Add the faintest hint of ink-stamp edges around it, like the sky just got notarized.

“paperwork” captions:

Add one last silent detail: a windblown page skitters across the boardwalk in the foreground—blank at first glance—then you see a header: FILED (no body text).

Christine Feehan and Paranormal

Relax and Read

Wednesday, February 25, 2026

Olee and Sheena vs. The Undertaker: RED FALCON DAWN Issue#1 By Desiree Sims